Monday, December 31, 2012

New Year's Reolution

I'm not big on New Year's Resolutions. I've been a member of Lifetime Fitness Gym for many years. I hate to go to the gym in January because it is full of new people who will all be gone by the end of February or before. New Year's Resolutions just don't  hold up to human procrastination.

Yet, in the last almost 20 years I've gotten to know a lot of married bisexual and homosexual men, including myself, and one of the things I've observed over and over again is that the guys who finally decide to do something about their sense of unhappiness and lack of fulfillment are the guys that come to find happiness.

There is no one way to "do something" about your life. For some of you it might mean a divorce. For others it might mean coming out to your wife and agreeing on some arrangement you both can live with. For most of you it may mean deciding that you will carve out private time for yourself and a buddy within your life and spend discreet time with him.

All of these options have worked for guys that I have come to know very well over the years. Have I known guys who have failed in their attempt at fulfillment? Yes, I have; but they are far fewer in number than those who have succeeded.

To succeed you have to make a rational choice of action, not an idealistic one. You have to be careful to continue to fulfill your responsibilities to your family even in divorce. You have to keep your head about you. No one can ever find fulfillment in unbridled hedonism. Thinking one can do so is, perhaps, the most common mistake guys make.

As I approach the winter of my life, the greatest satisfaction I have is that I lived my life well. I fulfilled my responsibilities to my family, my job, my faith and myself. Did I do it perfectly? No, I'm not a Saint. But I did it well enough that my life and the lives I care about most around me have been successful and fulfilling. What more could one ask? The winter of my life would be bleak had I failed to live my life as I did. As it is, though my hope is for many more years, I can face death with a sense of satisfaction that I lived a full and eventful life. I found myself, and I helped others to do the same. It is very satisfying to me.

My faith hopes for a life beyond this one that will bring an entirely new world to enjoy. My mind tells me this life could very well be all any of us will ever have. If my mind proves to have come to the correct interpretation, I'm glad I lived my life to the fullest. If my faith turns out to be vindicated, I  have nothing to fear. I lived the life I was meant to live. I lived for me, but I stopped to help others along the way. I carried out my responsibilities plus a little bit more. My faith tells me Heaven is not for saints alone, but also for those who muddled through mostly on the good side of life, those who stood up to and met the challenges.

I urge each of you to take time in the new year to really think about your lives. What could you do better? What needs to change?

Whether you're a bisexual man who needs to figure out what to do with the rest of your life or a woman who has come to think she might be married to a gay or bisexual man, nothing is ever accomplished by turning a blind eye and pretending it just isn't so. Little is ever accomplished in hatefulness and anger either. Find a way to face the issue critically and with a hope to find compromise.

Jack Scott

Friday, December 28, 2012

Checking In

Just taking a moment to check in and let all of you know I'm still kicking. Maybe not quite kicking as hard, but kicking.

We had a nice, but toned down Christmas. Was actually kind of nice. I'm feeling much better than I was, but I still have a few health issues that have to be resolved. I'm hoping that happens soon.

I feel bad that I have left the blog on hold for a few weeks, but then, on the other hand, ya'll seem to be carrying on quite well without me. Many of you are taking the time to read back block posts that you've not read before and that's great.

Just look on the right hand side of the home page and you'll see what the most frequently read blog posts are.

A special thanks to all of you who have taken the time to drop we a note wishing me a quick recovery and urging me not to worry too much about my blog duties. I really appreciate it.

Have a SAFE and HAPPY New Year! May it be a year in which many of your dreams come to fulfillment.

Jack Scott

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year to You!

It's hard to imagine that another year has come and gone! To me it seems only yesterday that the "idiot fringe" among us was worried that the world was going to come apart at the seams as the Year 2000 arrived.

Now, it seems, 5 minutes have passed and the Year 2013 is upon us. Impossible! I remember, as a kid, when a summer day was longer than a week is now. The wait for Christmas was several of today's years.

But there is no use bemoaning the ever quickening pace of time. It's not going to slow down. It really is true that time waits for no man. Instead, I have come to the realization that the best thing to do is to live life fully and enjoy every day before it quickly passes away.

I was out Christmas shopping for my wife this week. As I headed home, driving west, I looked into the western sky and was amazed at what I saw. It was one of those rare cold days that we get here in the Houston area. The temperature was made to feel even colder by a wind that had been blowing hard all day. Looking at the sky, I saw that the winds aloft were also violent. The high Cirrus clouds were being ripped and whipped into thin shreds of icy moisture. Each shred was basically shaped like a ragged Shepherd's  Hook, the hook end flowing northward in the sky and the staff whipped around 180 degrees to flow south. This configuration of Cirrus clouds is not unusual, but what made these clouds so unusual was that the several Shepherd's Hooks were transected perpendicularly by what appeared to be almost solid narrow bands of clouds which didn't seem to be wind whipped at all. I had never seen anything like it. As I drove home, I marveled at the beauty of it all as the sinking sun's rays cast red and gold beams of light up into the cloud's causing them to shimmer brilliantly. It was as if it were all a gift for me at the end of the day.

We often tell each other to be sure to, "stop and smell the roses." There is a lot of wisdom in that old saying. But roses are not the only thing we should stop to enjoy. Clouds, a summer breeze, a blue butterfly flittering among the garden flowers, children rolling down a grassy hill, a redbird drinking from a backyard fountain, a grandchild playing her violin in a concert, sitting and talking with a neighbor who is nearing the century mark of his life, are all things I have stopped to enjoy in the last few months. My spirit is the better for it.

I've been blessed to see many of the grandest and hallowed sights on earth including several of the United Nations World Heritage Sites, the most significant places on the earth - the Cliffs of Moher, in Ireland, the Torii Gate of Miyaji in Japan, the Grand Canyon, Alaska's Mount McKinley,  the ancient temples of Rome, the 13th century Golden Pavilion in Kyoto, the Arizona Memorial in Pearl Harbor, the Lake District of England, the Canadian Rockies, and Stonehenge. I've roamed through the ancient Temples of the Myans.  Fortunately, one need not travel to distant places to find the wonders of the world. The worlds beauty is all around us. All we have to do is take the time to appreciate the beauty and the peacefulness of nature that surrounds us.

Christmas is the Season of Peace and Good Will To Men. One has two choices. He can deny that there is any peace to be had on earth and certainly no good will. I can see why someone would choose that option. We live in a time when even Americans are more divided than they ever have been. Our Representatives in Washington are so polarized on political views that they can't even act together in the best interests of the country and its citizens. However, we can also choose to carry the season in our hearts all year long by stopping to appreciate the world around us and the people and creatures that inhabit it. It has been said, "life is a journey, not a destination." I can honestly say, I've enjoyed the journey. My dearest dream is that all of you will come to enjoy the journey as well. We cannot change what we encounter in life. We can choose how we react to it.

As married bisexual men, the journey is often not easy. More often than not we can not tie our lives up in neat little packages as do ordinary men. But being bisexual does not mean that just because our lives are not easy, they cannot be throughly rewarding. Many of us have built lives and relationships which prove that; and if many of us can do that, then all of us can.

Here's wishing you and yours the most joyful of Christmases and the most rewarding of New Years. May you vow to embrace life and all it has to offer. May you see each new challenge as an opportunity, and may you always stop to appreciate and enjoy the world around you.

Jack Scott

Monday, December 17, 2012

The Face of Evil

As a nation, we came face to face with evil once again last week. This time the evil was particularly cruel and terrifying. As a parent and grandparent, I cannot comprehend how a human being could look into the beautiful faces of little 6 and 7 year old children and then pump multiple bullets into their small bodies.

One little boy was quoted as telling his Father their had been an "animal" in the school! In his child's mind, only an animal could have wrecked such horror on innocent children and their teachers. I'm not sure I don't agree with him in some ways.

I'm a Texan. I don't often agree with the President, but I do agree with him that these increasing attacks on the innocent are unacceptable. I'm rational enough to know we can never stop them altogether in a free society, but we have to make them very rare. As a Texan and a gun owner, I'm supportive of the right of every rational and law abiding citizen to bear arms. I am not; however, supportive of a citizens's right to bear any type of arm he desires. I've been appalled when I take my son to the shooting range and see guys out there with high powered military grade weapons. No "citizen" needs such weapons.

But weapons are only one part of the problem; and, I think, the smaller part of the problem. The bigger issue is the human being who is using the weapon as a way to express himself.

We do not yet know what emotions, distress or pain the perpetrator of this unspeakable act was trying to express. But I particularly liked the comment by one psychologist being interviewed on television. He said, "no matter what the young man might have been thinking or feeling, no matter what name might be given to his psychological condition, there was no excuse for his actions!

I believe this psychologist is absolutely correct. Over the last couple of decades, the "Politically Correct Movement" has engulfed our nation, we have become a nation of victims. In the eyes of the PC crowd none of us bear any responsibility for ourselves. We are all victims. We can't help what we have become because we are poor through no fault of our own. We are victims because we didn't have the same chances in life as our more successful citizens had. We are victims because we got hooked into the drug world. We are victims because nobody liked us and we were bullied. We are victims because we are a part of a racial minority. The list goes on and on and one.

The truth is, unless they kill us outright, we are not victims unless we choose to be. Those 20 sweet little babies just beginning their lives were true victims of evil. Those of us who survive them are not victims unless we choose to be! The PC crowd needs to get this through their narrow minds and stop coaching people on how to be victims.

I was impressed greatly with what one father of one of the little girls had to say. He acknowledged his unbearable sorrow and his love for his daughter. Then he vowed that he and his wife were going to do their best to not let this tragedy define them and he urged others to follow the same course. With that heroic vow which will be ever so hard to keep, he declared to the world that he and his wife were not victims. Here is a man and wife who have been hurt beyond our ability to comprehend; and yet, they refuse to wear the label of victim. They understand that incarnate evil could and did take their daughter from them; but they also understand how they carry on after this despicable act is their choice. It is a lesson for us all.

As Americans, as human beings, we need to learn that every time we label people, hold them up as unacceptable, bully them or simply ignore them we are sewing the seeds of anger, separations, pain and disillusionment. In today's world, those seeds can altogether too easily sprout, bloom and come back to bite us horribly.

Last week, I attended a party hosted my by gay friends. The party was significant because my gay friends who are partners were the only gay people there. Everyone else was married and straight. Nobody cared that their hosts were a gay couple. They are accepted in the neighborhood, not just tolerated but loved and accepted. The world should be that way. If it were, we would see less of what we saw last week.

If each young man filled with rage, anger and a need for retaliation would realize that everyone has bad things in their lives, but the measure of life is not what happens to you.  Instead it is how you react to it. With that realization, there would be fewer events like that of last week.

It's almost impossible for me to feel sorry for shooters. As the little boy mentioned above, I tend to see them as animals. I guess it is part of my coping system. But if I could feel sorry for them, I'd feel sorry that they more than likely did what they did to call attention upon themselves and their burdens and they never knew that they failed. Society just considers them criminals at best, animals at worst.

Life is simply too short for feeling sorry for oneself. It is imperative that each of us reacts realistically to who and what we are in this life. We chance what we can and we grow into and become at peace with what we are. To put that into the context of this blog, married bisexual and homosexual men are faced with the same choices. We can rail against our sexuality. We can even let it destroy our lives, or we can embrace it and live life joyfully and effectively. I chose the latter.

Jack Scott

Thursday, December 13, 2012

My Apologies for My Absence

Over the last new weeks, I have been relatively absent from my blog. It has not been by choice. I have been experiencing some health issues which limit they time I am able to spend at the computer.

I hope to be back to normal soon, but so far my issues seem to be confounding my Doctors as well as myself. Luckily, there are more than a hundred past posts. It hope many of you will take the opportunity to read them and comment.  Comment periods are never closed for older posts. I always enjoy hearing what my readers are thinking, good or bad.

I look forward to getting back to a normal schedule soon. Thanks for your understanding.

Jack Scott

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I Sometimes Wonder

I sometimes wonder in this great age of instant and open communication in which everyone has the opportunity at hand to personally communicate instantly with all of the first world and most of the third world if people even understand how great the opportunity before them actually is. If the do, they don't often show it and they rarely take advantage of it.

We live in the information age. More information is at our finger tips every day than people learned in their entire lives just a few decades ago. Some of us don't take advantage of this at all, and way to many of us squander the opportunity by using FaceBook and Twitter and others of that ilk to inform others, who don't really give a damn, of what we had for breakfast this morning, our plans for the day, or what we've recently shopped for. I don't think most of these people have ever had a deep or significant thought.

I sometimes wonder why I take the time and energy to blog about anything of consequence or anything in the least bit challenging. Most people simply don't want to clutter their banal minds with consequential things. They much prefer to center their minds as well as their lives amidst the inconsequential.

As a blogger, I purposely try to challenge my readers. Hell, I even purposely try to make them angry just to get them to think about the consequential things in their lives. Most of the time I fail. Admittedly, I'm not the sharpest tack in the drawer. The failure could be totally due to my own short comings. And if it were not for the minority of readers who do comment on my writings to disagree with me or share with me how I have inspired them to take a new look at their lives and the real life situations they are struggling with, I'd definitely think it was all my fault.

In the recent blog, "People Are Funny" I thought I said some pretty critical things about people in general. I was sure I'd piss some people off; and if fact, I am positive I did. But I'd never know if from the less than deafening responses in the comment section. There was only one lone comment from another blogger whom I greatly respect. And guess what, I don't respect him because he agrees with me all the time or because I agree with him all the time. He has offered some fairly tough criticism of my work. He's also offered some welcome affirmation of my work. That says to me he's an honest man who calls em as he sees em! I like that. He challenges my thinking. Sometimes he even changes my thinking. I like that too. I like that a lot because in the end, I blog to challenge others and to be challenged by them. It's hard to do that  when readers offer little feedback. is not a perfect blog host. There is much that could be improved, but for a free application, it is a wonderful host. It tells we bloggers how many people are looking at our blogs each hour, each day, each week and each month. It keeps tracks of every comment. What the stats Blogger keeps tell me is that my blog is read by an average of 1000 people a day, 30,000 people each month. It even tells me that the blog post "Frot and Frottage" is the most read blog I have ever written. Posted well over a year ago, it is still viewed by almost 7,000 viewers every month. But of the tens of thousands who have read that piece over the last year and a half, only 21 have chosen to comment. That's one in every 6000 people who have read a blog piece designed to challenge and confront, even piss off the average person.

We live in the most connected age the world has ever known. People care enough to search out information and opinion like "Frot And Frottage,"  but they either don't care enough to take the opportunity to discuss it or they are too afraid and unsure of themselves to discuss it, even anonymously. In a Democracy such as ours where free speech is a RIGHT of all citizens, this is scary.
Our founding Fathers spoke up and spoke out KNOWING it would cost them their fortunes and even their lives. Yet, we've become a nation that is loath to discuss ideas in any forum.

Far worse we form our own opinions and cling to them though they have never been exposed to critique from others. Thus do dim witted and uneducated house wives and ball-less husbands make the decision that they are smarter than their pediatricians and refuse to let their children be vaccinated against potentially disfiguring and deadly diseases along with way too many similar crazy decisions.

I challenge each of you to engage in the melee  of life that surrounds you. Speak up, speak out. Don't let me or anyone else speak for you. You speak for yourself. Challenge your brain. Boldly and openly mindedly consider and discuss those things you disagree with most. Expose your own opinions to criticism.

To those of you who do comment, who think and who do expose your closely held opinions to criticism, right on. Thank you and keep up the good work.

Jack Scott

Monday, December 3, 2012

Questions Readers Ask

Please see the top section of the blog home page for the link to Page - Questions Readers Ask. This is a new feature that will help anonymous readers find the answer to questions they ask of me.

As they are anonymous, I cannot reply to them directly. This work- around will help me to get back to them; however, I would much rather every commenter acquire a free Google ID to use in blogging. This would preserve anonymity while still allowing direct replies to each commenter or questioner.

I've been doing this blog for a long time now, so I hope no one thinks I'm will attack them or purposely try to find out who they are and show up on their door step. Not my style.

Jack Scott

Anyone can comment on what I write in this blog. Regretfully, the recent amount of spam in my email account as required that I reinstate the word verification process for comments which I personally hate.

But at the same time I have loosened the comment moderation process so that those of you who have a Google Blogger ID or other recognized blogger ID will no longer need to wait for your comment to be moderated. I'm hoping this will tempt you to take the trouble to comment.

The truth is I want respectful comments both from those who agree with me and those who do not. All I as is that you keep comments to the point, clean and non-threatenting.

I look forward to hearing from each of you.

Jack Scott