tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703298219148864437.post2424881663868483255..comments2023-05-15T08:45:11.289-05:00Comments on Jack Scott's Discussions on Male Sexuality: Why Men Need To CheatJack Scotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08273576581155029176noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703298219148864437.post-9203477565398769332013-07-01T08:31:22.474-05:002013-07-01T08:31:22.474-05:00I have come to understand, as much as it is possib...I have come to understand, as much as it is possible for a guy to understand, what women like you are going through. It bothers me a great deal.<br /><br />What I don't understand is what can be done about it that will leave both individuals feeling safe, happy and satisfied.<br /><br />I congratulate you on your comment that, in spite of all this, he loves you. That is usually the case, and many women fail to understand it.<br /><br />I also am glad that he is being honest with you about the fact that he thinks he must be with other men. From personal experience, I know how strong that urge can be. Yet, at the same time, I have come to understand that many heterosexual men have those same urges for other women other than their wives and somehow manage not to act on them. Then again a huge number of such men do act on that type of urge. They just keep it quiet.<br /><br />I hope you can find some peace and a degree of self assurance that will mitigate the devastation you now feel.<br /><br />Honestly, I think it gets down to this question, Are you happier with him than you would be without him. If so, put his bisexuality aside and enjoy your marriage. If not, leave him and find a straight man that can be all you need him to be.<br /><br />Thanks so much for writing.<br /><br />Jack ScottJack Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08273576581155029176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703298219148864437.post-2312583488079421512013-06-28T08:56:05.084-05:002013-06-28T08:56:05.084-05:00I am the woman married to the bisexual guy. I hav...I am the woman married to the bisexual guy. I have known about this for 5 years and as far as I know he has not acted on it. I don't believe that for a minute due to certain circumstances in our life those 5 years and that has brought on a lot of distrust on my part. Recently he told me he cant stay faithful, that he has to have a guy and will leave if I don't let him. I was hurt when I found out but he promised me that was in the past and this is what he wanted until now. I am struggling with this!! and so is he!! He loves me, I know this. But he cant keep hiding his desire for a man and we are both in a state of arguing, fighting, denial, fear...it all sucks badly!!! for us both. I have chosen to stay and let him go do what he has to do, but he wont go because he doesn't want to hurt me and he knows it will even though I say I would stay anyway. So, now we have fought so much because he isn't doing what he needs to do and I am so hurt by the thought of him "cheating" and also hurt that I am not enough. So at this point he has chosen to leave instead. What a mess...my message to any guy who is bisexual...tell the girl up front!!!! He had sexual relations with men before me so he knew! If she can handle it then great, but this is not something that should be hidden from someone! Now we have been married for years and I am devastated and even more so that I will lose the man I love. I could have walked away back then and there never been this love. Or pain.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703298219148864437.post-37063535408320801222012-11-07T13:05:44.852-06:002012-11-07T13:05:44.852-06:00Thanks for your comments. I have to admit I don...Thanks for your comments. I have to admit I don't know the solution either, but I do know that for 90% of guys, telling the wife is NOT the solution. It only makes things worse.<br /><br />If one thinks about it, it is obvious how this is the case. All of us as bisexual men have struggled for years with our bisexuality. And we've never come to a truly 100% satisfactory solution to it. This topic is proof of that.<br /><br />So how can we expect our wife to deal with it when it is thrown at her out of the blue. She simply can't. <br /><br />Second, even if she WANTS TO DEAL WITH IT AND SAVE THE MARRIAGE, she can't. She simply cannot turn her mind off the subject. She will be compelled to watch your every move just as you suggest. Can you blame her? No, not really.<br /><br />This is our cross to bear. We have to bear it alone with help from other guys like us.<br /><br />Jack ScodttJack Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08273576581155029176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703298219148864437.post-79860814194326963132012-11-06T17:14:16.138-06:002012-11-06T17:14:16.138-06:00I don't know what that solution is...telling m...I don't know what that solution is...telling my wife has led to more arguments and her in tears and me feeling angry and alone. I think if I had never told her it might have been better. She knows and she watches everything I do. She try's to set me so that she can catch me fucking up. If you haven't told your wife everything and there is room to back out of telling her, now is the time to do it. After you tell them, its too late and you'll have nothing but trouble ever after. I'd hide it and not tell. I wish you the best luck in the world...we all need it. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703298219148864437.post-62169718643113091882012-10-30T13:31:59.045-05:002012-10-30T13:31:59.045-05:00As a man who has recently come out to his wife as ...As a man who has recently come out to his wife as bisexual after many years of a good marriage I am still vacillating between the tell and hurt the wife choices vs the don't tell and hope that she never finds out (but eventually will) choice. <br /><br />Neither choice has worked well for me. I wish I could tell her everything, but it would hurt too much. She wants to understand and find the key to staying together. But each truth she has heard has made her more and more fearful that she will lose me or we will lose the fine relationship that we have had for so many years.<br /><br />I wish there was an easier solution.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703298219148864437.post-74475249329083333132012-10-29T20:53:12.526-05:002012-10-29T20:53:12.526-05:00I am married and bisexual. I posted a comment some...I am married and bisexual. I posted a comment some weeks ago. I have never been with a man. I have lusted after them. Dreamed about them and enjoyed many nights of masturbation to gay/bi erotica. Now I am in my early 30's and I am itching to try sex with another guy. My wife knows I am bi but she won't have any other thoughts of a guy with me. For years she would have sex with me and talk about this or that guy sucking my cock. She would let me talk about how much I wanted to suck a cock but at the end of the sex, she let me know that it was never going to happen. It helped for years. Now we don't do that and she has really stopped even giving me a chance to watch men. She is very jealous of everyone. I am just an average looking guy, not hot, not ugly. Just average. I don't have legions of naked men running me down in the streets (its a nice thought though). So here I am feeling this itch and not knowing what to do about it. I hate me for WANTING to have sex with another man. Can't I just be heterosexual or homosexual? Why this curse? I don't expect you to know the answers to but I need someone to hear me. I need someone to understand. I don't want to cheat and hurt my wife. I don't want to be miserable either. I don't want to lose my marriage. I feel a little insane right now...I feel lost and confused about what I am supposed to do. If I weren't here...who knows...I just wish that someone could tell me that I am not the worst person or husband on earth...even if it was a lie, a small lie to help me work through the chaos in my head. Anyway I am sorry if I have ranted too much. I just needed to get this out of my system. thanks Jack. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com