A Note from Jack Scott

My life continues to be one foot on firm ground and one on an ice flow. The good news is that I am feeling better and better.  I am able to read again and think again, so that has been good for me. Best of all, I'm walking again and that is really great.

The only thing is I have just not had the inspiration or the wit to finish Part II of What I've Learned Along the Way, but I think I'm getting close.

I am pleased to see that even though I've not been able to post any blog pieces for quite some time about 10,000 readers a month are looking at the older articles. I appreciate that very much.

Hope to get back soon.

Jack Scott

The Day I've Been Dreading

I've known for sometime now this day was on its way. Now, it has arrived, even quick than I imagined it would. The day has come to say goodbye to the picture blog. Since we got home at the end of August, my life has been a zoo. I 've had to rely on my wife for more and more of my daily needs. I don't like that, but it is true.

Add to that , because of my surgery in November, I have lost my ability to type. I had hoped I would recover that, but I haven't.  If I didn't hadn't watched every word as I typed it, you would have been unable to make any since of what I just typed

When I am speaking, it is even worse. I have to have words that will fill in for the words I can't remember. I've never had trouble using words. If it doesn't clear up Bisexual Buddies Yahoo  and Bisexual Buddies blog spot will have to go too.

It has been an absolute privilege serving you over the past few years. Thank you for all your kindnesses. I hope you'll continue reading and participating in the other too groups. There is no schedule for them, and it makes it easier for me.

I am happy to report that today is the first good day I've had in well over a month. Unless you ever had metastatic cancer you can imagine what it does to you brain.

I still owe you the second  part of "What I've Learned Along the way. I'm just taking a little more time to let the cobwebs clear out.

I must say an enormous thank you to George Starzz for all the year he has helped my giving thousands of pictures to draw from. I couldn't have done it without you George.

Jack Scott

On The A - Line

Just when I thought it was safe to get out of bed - I should have taken a second look. The other morning I woke up feeling better than I had in quite some time. However, within minutes of getting up, I was laying on the floor nauseous and exhausted. I lay there a while thinking with a little rest, it would be easier to get up and finish getting dressed for my appointment with my Oncologist.

I did manage to get up, but when I stood up, the nausea turned very quickly to actively throwing up. I did make it to the car, pan in hand. My wife began the drive into Houston's Medical Center. By the time we got into town, my pan was full. By the time we got to the parking garage at MD Anderson, I found I could not get out of the car. My wife retrieved a wheel chair. I struggled out of the car and into the chair.

Having given up my pan, we stopped at the desk for a barf bag. Throwing up into it, I noticed for the first time the "coffee grounds" look of what I was throwing up. I knew what was happening, and I knew it wasn't good. I was throwing up blood.

When we got to the Doctor's office, I could no longer sit up. Instead, I stretched out on a sofa. They called me a minute or two later, but I didn't have the strength to get up, and I could only communicate  somewhat incoherently. My wife filled them in on what she knew of what was happening. Shortly after they got me into the Doctor's office, all hell broke loose. I was now throwing up bright red blood and  coughing it up as well. It was also coming out of my nose. Someone was asking me if I could stay in the wheelchair long enough to get to the ER. I agreed, I could, but I would have agreed to any thing at that point. All I really wanted to do was lay down to sleep and be left alone.

Before I knew what was happening, I was in the ER being prepared for the insertion of two Arterial

Lines. I'd never had an arterial line inserted while conscious before, but I had helped insert them and I knew they were hellishly painful, but what was I to do. It was either let them establish the lines or die. I was so overwhelmingly tired I might have chosen to die, but no one gave me that choice. I had bled out half of my volume of blood. There really were no choices.

The doctor began to insert the long needle deep into my right wrist and dig around for the artery. Even in my weakened condition, it was all I could do to stay still. The pain was almost unbearable. With the arterial line in my wrist, stitched to my skin to hold in place and patent, they began immediately to infuse blood while a second larger bore arterial line was established in my groin. The pain was intense as the physician struggled to get the line just the way he wanted it and then stitch it to me so it would not move. That done, they began to run more blood into me at a fast clip.

Within a very short time, my body began to change from a very pale white to pink. I was still foggy, but I knew I was going to live. There was no pain from the hemorrhage or the surgery, but my wrist, my groin and my penis ached from the assault of the catheters which had been inserted. My arms looked like I had been in a fight with  a couple of cats. There were needle stick marks up and down them from where they had tried to find veins that would tolerate a catheter and, of course, the venous catheters that marked their ultimately successful stick. In another few minutes I was transported to ICU where I was to remain for 4 days without food and without water except for the IV bags which were constantly flowing their contents into my arms. More often than not, ICU patients are not fully conscious. It is a blessing, a blessing I did not have. Believe me, there is no allowance for one's dignity in ICU. Neither is there any time to sleep. Nurses and technicians are in and out in and out. Monitors are sounding their shrill warnings almost constantly. It is impossible to get comfortable with the tubes running in and out of ones body. The slightest movement is likely to cause a tube to crimp, and the monitors began their obnoxious warnings.

After five days, I was released to home with warnings to take things slow and easy. There was no need to warn me. I didn't have the energy to cuss a cat!

I'm feeling better today for the first time, but my energy level is still low. There'll be no family

Thanksgiving for me. My immune system is too low to be around a bunch of people, especially the little kids. But now that I'm getting better, I'm glad they ignored my pleas to leave me alone. Life is not what I wish it were anymore, but there are still so many blessings to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving day and every day.

As a part of taking it easy for a while, I'm not sure when the next pictures will be posted, or the next blog written, but I hope you won't forget me. Check back every few days to see what's new.

I hope you won't just celebrate Thanksgiving watching the Cowboys game. I love football, but there is more to life. Take time to actually name a few of your blessings and be thankful for them. Life is really short, and it hangs on a very thin string.

Jack

Jack Scott

A Sincere Salute to All Who Served

For Our Tomorrows 

The sun is setting on a Veteran's Day which was absolutely beautiful here in Texas. That we might enjoy it, thousands upon thousands of American soldiers through the centuries have given the ultimate gift, their lives.

As the proud father of a career military man who has worn the uniform for over two decades, I know well, the sacrifices our military men and women make every day. They make up less than 1% of Americans, and we trust them to have our backs 100% of the time for very little in return. 

Why do they do it? Even as the father of one of them, I simply do not know. The best I can make of it, they simply feel called. Like the 3 year old in the lyrics of the famous song, "The Wall," my own son was playing war when he was only three. Think of all the war zones you've heard about in the News over the last 20 years. My son and the sons and daughters of a host of Americans have been in every one of them. And in a very personal and intimate way, those who love them have been there too. 

Americans have become war weary. We have not forgotten that to whom much is given, much is required. We have not forgotten that Americans, for generations, have stepped into conflicts that were not their conflicts, but nevertheless, conflicts, in which, we felt duty bound to take a side. Things have not always turned out well in these conflicts where we've offered a helping hand. But we can be proud we've never tried to build an empire and more often than not, our national enemies have eventually become our allies and friends. 

Today our enemies are not nations, but radical religious zealots who prey upon the uneducated, the poor and the ignorant to make them their human weapons of mass destruction, promising them unlimited rewards in paradise of which the zealots themselves are not yet ready to partake. 

Though we are a nation who has sacrificially earned our present condition of war weariness, we will have no choice but to continue the fight against the radicals, those who try to exalt themselves on the bloody bodies of their people, the purveyors of false religions, and those who are nothing more than everyday tyrants. 

Fortunately, scientific achievement takes exponential leaps forward. We are on the brink of a sea change in the technology of warfare. Fewer and fewer Americans will have to be physically present in war zones in order to achieve our goals. Our technology will keep our military men and women out of harm's way. I know people are already complaining about the rise of drones and the collateral damage they often cause. Those people have simply forgotten the real definition of collateral damage which was a brutal reality of World War II. The reality is, the collateral damage of World War II was one of the reasons the ward did not drag on for 15 years or so like our present wars do. While no collateral damage should always the goal for Americans, if there is to be collateral damage it should be upon our enemies and those who support their tactics or turn a blind eye to them.

So, as night closes in on this Vetran's Day. Let us each say a prayer or simply take a moment to say, "Thanks," to those who have born the battle. Let us remember that we will always need those few special people who love America enough to die for it and to gladly serve it. 

Jack Scott

Stopping To Smell The Roses

My posts have been sparse of late, I know. Actually, I would have liked to have posted more frequently than I have, but it became a matter of priorities.

White Caladiums and Pink Impatients

You see, we have had one of the most beautiful Springs in recorded history (literally) here in the Houston area. The temperatures have been lower than any since they began keeping records. Also the humidity levels have often been low as well making the days just awesomely beautiful.

Combined with that I have been feeling so good. I have had more energy than I have had in at least a couple of years, and along with the energy, the will to get out and enjoy the beautiful Spring days and do what I use to love doing most, working in my yard.

Pink Throated White Azaleas

The last couple of years, I just hadn't felt like doing much, so there was much to do in the yard. It's still not all done, but the yard is already beautiful. I've reworked the flower and shrub beds. I'm trimmed the trees and pruned the hedges.

In addition to the usual plants, I found some new ones that are beautiful and unusual. I always enjoy that. One that I found this year is a Brazilian Plum Plant. It is so unusual and beautiful. It has dark green glossy leaves and a pink plumed flower.

Since the Spring has been so delightful and I've felt so good, I've spent many whole days out in the

Pink Hydrangeas

yard working. Sometimes, like this morning, I've even stopped just to enjoy the beauty. This morning when I got up and pulled back the drapes in our bedroom, much to my surprise it was raining. I got dressed for church and still had a little time, so I just went out on the covered patio and watched the rain and the wonderful aroma it brings.

So, I guess the honest assessment is, I could have posted more over the last few weeks, but it just wasn't my first priority. I've been taking time to stop and smell the roses - literally! However, that is not all there is to it either. I have been turning over and over in my mind thoughts on my next post. It is a particularly difficult one to write, so it has been good to have the time to think about it.

Pale Blue Agapanthus

As Americans, we are always way too stressed out. I hope you too will take time this Summer to take it easy and do something for yourself. We are not guaranteed tomorrow you know, so do it soon.

All the pictures of flowers are from my back yard. Those of you who know something about growing flowers will recognize many of these are shade tolerant or shade loving plants.

That is because most of my yard is under some magnificent trees.  The few sun loving plants are tucked into the few small sunny spaces I have where they at least get the morning sun. I'd like to show you the yard itself, but for obvious reasons, that is not possible. I hope you enjoy the pictures. 

I really hope they inspire you to find your own way to relax and enjoy the present.

Jack Scott

Frangipani

Yellow Hibiscus

Marilyn Monroe Rose

In Memory of Those Who Gave All

The Day The World Changed

Lest We Forget