So You Want To Hear From Someone With Credential Huh?

Helping married guys with their homosexuality or their bisexuality started out as an avocation for me. It sprang from my own struggles with self-hatred and despair over my own sexuality.

I'm sure it seems crazy to some of  you but in the early years of my adulthood I didn't even know what I was. I knew I wasn't "normal" in sexual terms as compared to other guys. I knew I was attracted to certain types of males and I knew I had sexual dreams about males.

At the same time though I knew I absolutely loved straight sex and I knew I could never get enough of it. What did that make me other that queer? Or weird? Or crazy? Or damned?

In those days there was no internet to turn to for information. In the small town I lived in there wasn't even a library to turn to because the librarian had known me most of my life. Over almost 30 years I worked out my own redemption. It was a long difficult journey. As the song says, "I Wouldn't Take Nothin for My Journey Now," but at the time the journey almost killed me.

But the school of hard knocks has a long record of esteemed graduates. It also has a longer list of those who failed to make the cut. Many don't graduate, but those that do are generally recognized experts in their field of study.

It was from this perspective that I began my avocation of helping guys cope with sexual desires and drives they did not understand. Early successes must have been more the result of a benevolent God that me; but nevertheless, there were successes. That spurred me on.

After I retired from my career, what had been a mere avocation began to demand more and more of my time and energy. That was a good thing. It kept me busy and it kept my mind off my own health problems.

But on a fairly regular basis I come into contact with guys who want credentials other than those offered by the school of hard knocks.

Fortunately those credentials are fairly easy to supply. The following is a case in point:

Jay Michaelson is a writer, scholar and activist whose work addresses the intersections of religion, sexuality, spirituality and law. He is the author of "God vs. Gay? The Religious Case for Equality," available on amazon.com from Beacon Press.

Jay is is the author of three other books and more than 200 articles, essays, and works of fiction. He is the Associate Editor of Religion Dispatches, a Contributing Editor to the Forward newspaper, and Founding Editor of Zeek magazine. His work on behalf of sexual minorities in religious communities has been featured in the New York Times, CNN and NPR, as well as several anthologies.

Jay has held teaching positions at Boston University Law School, City College of New York and Yale University. He holds a J.D. from Yale Law School, an M.A. in Religious Studies from Hebrew University, an M.F.A. in writing from Sarah Lawrence College, and a B.A. magna cum laude from Columbia, and is completing his Ph.D. at Hebrew University of Jerusalem. He has been a scholar-in-residence at dozens of universities, synagogues and other institutions.

In 2009, Jay was included on the “Forward 50″ list of “the men and women who are leading the American Jewish community into the 21st century,” and in June, 2010, he won the New York Society for Professional Journalists “Deadline Club” award for opinion writing.

This man has credentials on his credentials commonly known as credentials out the wazoo! For more information on Jay see the web site at http://www.jaymichaelson.net/about/

Don't get me wrong. I hope you'll read my blog regularly, but if you need supporting references this guy can provide them.

The fact of the matter is that if you are reading this blog you are more than likely a married homosexual or bisexual man or married to one. The other facts that go along with that is you sexuality is not going to change and more than likely you are not going to be able to ignore it. You're going to have to deal with it in some manner.

Doing that is not going to be pleasant, easy or free of feelings of guilt. But it is necessary and you might as well have help. Help is available in many places. Reach out and grad some. You'll be a better man for it. You'll also be a happier man and a healthier man.

Jack Scott