An Interesting Development

My friends and colleagues have always thought of me as the go to guy. If there was something they wanted said; but for some reason they were afraid to say it, they would bring it to me. Their theory was that I'd say anything to anyone.

That wasn't quite true, but it was true enough that it was a solid part of my reputation. While I wouldn't actually say anything, I'd say anything I believed needed to be said. And more often than not I would say it in a diplomatic way, though I was well aware that a shocking delivery sometimes had its place too.

I've said this before in other blog pieces, what really seemed strange to me was that my friends and colleagues never seemed to catch on to the fact that my willingness to say whatever I thought needed to be said never once hurt me. Did I get called on the carpet once or twice? Yep sure did, but it was always just a formality. One time what we talked about when I was in the woodshed with my superior was how much and how often he'd wanted to say just exactly what I had said.

But my friends and colleagues never caught on to the fact that being the guy who would "say anything" actually gave me more  power, authority and appreciation within the company throughout my career. It actually helped me get to where I wanted to be. There was value in being able to think clearly and also being willing to speak up about what I was thinking no matter the circumstances. No one ever had to wonder what I was thinking or what I might be saying behind their back.

The same type of appreciation has generally accrued to me from my friends. My friends know I will, more often than not, give them a true report of what I think. Most of them appreciate it. There are times, though they are rare, when my candidness costs me a new friend. Such was the case in the blog piece I wrote a few weeks ago entitled "A Tale of Two Men." I lost the friendship of a relatively new friend by talking to him candidly. But the friendship with the other man who was the subject of that blog continues to be a vary close and valued friend. In fact he paid me sort of the ultimate compliment last week. I told him I had to ask him a very rude question. His response was, "Between you and me there are no rude questions." I thought, how great is that? I realized he was right. There is nothing he could not ask me and nothing we can't discuss. He a true friend.

But here's the thing. Sometimes, actually, I'd rather not tell the truth for one reason or the other. And more than that, those of you who have been reading my writing for a while know very well I do NOT believe one should always tell the truth. The truth is,  truth can be wielded as one of the most terrible of weapons. Usually, that is the wrong thing to do. I don't have trouble not telling the truth in those situations. Usually I don't lie. I just say what I can and leave out the rest. Some would call that a lie of omission. I guess I'd call it strategic conversation. It's true, the truth can set one free. But wielding the truth as a weapon can cause severe trauma and anguish. What good is it to be free if one is traumatized into another kind of bondage?

I often debate whether or not to tell the truth in situations where I could get away with saying nothing at all, where nothing or very little is at stake; but my natural bent to say what I think. What I know as the truth is always pulling on me to speak it.

As I've told my regular readers many times, helping married homosexual or bisexual men and their wives understand each other and find a happy compromise in their lives is an avocation of mine that has become almost a full time job since I retired.  But here's the thing, even when your goal in life is to be of help to some one, free help, I might add. You have to sell it. My wife, on the other hand, charges $175.00 an hour for her time as a professional psychotherapist. And that's a deal compared to what she could charge on the east and west coasts. She doesn't have to sell her help to others. They seek her out because they know in order for her to practice she has to be educated, credentialed and regulated. They know she is backed by other professionals and resources as well. It inspires confidence in her patients that she will be able to help them.

In my case, I don't have all that supporting infrastructure. It's just me and my life experience along with my life which has turned out exceptionally well in spite of and even because of my bisexuality. And its my early experience of hating myself that I want to help others mitigate or avoid in their own lives. After all,  the years I spent hating my bisexuality accomplished little, and the process through which I came to see my bisexuality as me and to love who I am was actually pretty simple once I figured it out. It certainly wasn't complex. Anyone could do it. It's just that most people don't think of it and if they do think of it they sometimes don't have the willpower to do it.

So, the truth is, when I started this blog, I thought I needed a hook to pull people in. Who among you can guess what the hook was? If you said it was my picture blog at http://jackscottsbisexualbuddiespictures.blogspot.com give yourself a pat on the butt and advance to the head of the class. You're one smart dude. That is exactly what the hook was and is. Now, its just my opinion, but I think my picture blog is one of the best picture blogs out there. It's posted on a consistent twice a month basis and it unfailingly has red hot pictures of some of the best looking men that ever pulled down their jeans for a photographer. For those of you who like XXX pictures of men, it is no secret to you there is a lot, I mean a whole lot, of trash out there, poor photography of some of the ugliest men anyone has ever seen. Some of the pictures floating around the internet would be enough to turn a bisexual or homosexual man straight, I kid you not! Well, maybe a little (grin).

In order to find a hundred or so exceptional pictures twice each month, I go through thousands of pictures. It's a time consuming and unfortunately, mind numbing process. But I do it for two reasons: (1) men will respond to pictures and sometimes when they see the link between my picture blog and my written blog, they'll take a look at the written blog too. (2) When I started looking at pictures I liked them a lot myself although I hated all the trash I had to go through to get to the ones that turned me on. But the turn on of finding the great pictures was reward enough for the work.

However, I've got to say, I'm living proof pornography should and must be a managed part of a guys life. If you look at it all the time, it looses its ability to excite you. Pictures that would get me hard as a rock a few years ago don't phase me now. Yawn, just another guy. But even now, pictures do come around that instantly turn me on. It's like discovering gold in Alaska. It makes all the work worthwhile. So I continue the picture blog because some of those pictures personally turn me on, and I hope they attract more guys to reading this blog.

Perhaps telling the truth about that will turn some of you off. I hope not. And there is a reason I wanted to share the truth with you. When I first started this blog and the picture blog, the picture blog was pulling in almost 100 viewers for every one viewer this written blog pulled in. That huge gap has been steadily closing, and for the last few months this written blog has been bringing in almost 20% more readers than the picture blog is bringing in.

Actually, I've been shocked, but pleasantly surprised to see the trends. I know my style of writing is not for everyone. We live in an age where people want their communication to be in short text messages, tweets and soundbites. That's just not me. I don't even have a Facebook or Twitter account. My writing is long, rambling, often apparently disjointed unless one looks closely for the connection. But my thought is one can't change lives with tweets, text messages and soundbites. One can only do that if others come to know and trust the blogger.

So, I wanted to share this interesting development with all of you. Don't worry I'll continue the picture blog. I like doing it for the one picture in thousands that really stirs up my juices, and I like doing it for all of you.  I want to say thanks to all of you who read this blog regularly. It means a lot to me when I get a letter from one of  you saying, "we've never met but I feel like you're a friend I know well and can trust." It makes my day.

In fact the only thing I don't like about both the blogs is that only a very small fraction of the viewers take the time to comment, actually only about four tenths of one percent. Almost 100% of the comments I do get are positive, so I guess it could be that all those who are not commenting are the ones that hate the blog, but if that were so, I don't think the number of viewers would be increasing like it is.

I don't know if the trend I've described will continue or not. I hope it does because the pictures are nice and often a turn on, but they don't give you much to think about that really affects your life. The written blog can do just that; and from most of the comments I do get, it does do that.

So, thanks to all of you who have made the blog a success. I appreciate it more than you can know.
And, while I'm telling the truth, there is another truth you should know. It is sometimes difficult to come up with material that will be interesting to readers month after month. The easy stuff, the things that were on my mind when I began this blog have all been said. The most viewed blog piece I've written was written over a year ago. "Frot And Frottage" has had more viewers than all the other blog pieces I've written put together. Try as I have, I've not been able to top that particular blog piece. So, if your dealing with a situation or a question that you would like to see what I might have to say about it, don't hesitate to write and tell me about it. I can't promise to blog about it, but the chances are mighty good that I will. Thanks to those of you who have already shared questions or ideas for me to blog about. I really appreciate your help.

Thanks again to all of you. I appreciate you all. Thanks to all who look at the picture blog. Thanks to those of you who take precious time out of your lives to read what I write. A special thanks to those of you who drop me an email or comment on line. Feedback, positive or negative is always helpful and always greatly appreciated.

Jack Scott