Monday, April 9, 2012

Men's and Women's Brains*

A while back in the BisexualBuddies Group a member posted a comment about men using different boxes within their brains to hold the various things in his life.

I thought the metaphor was great and altogether true.

The next day another member shared this video with the group. It is simply too funny and too true not to share with all of you.

There are basically three groups of men who will forever debate the merits of what and when a married bisexual guy should tell his wife about his bisexuality.

I'm in the group that has told his wife, but I don't advocate that for every guy. In my opinion it can be a very selfish and cruel thing to do.

Other guys think that the truth is the truth and the truth is always the only way to go. The problem is, as I see it, that other people say, "the truth will set you free." And all to often telling one's wife about one's bisexuality can not only set one free via divorce, but also cost one a significant part of everything he owns.

The other, perhaps biggest group of guys are guys that think men and women are wired differently and thus men should keep their bisexuality securely boxed up in the "bisexual" box in their brain.

While the You Tube video is quite funny and meant to be so, I challenge anyone to even suggest that it is not the honest truth. Women think differently than men and thus a man can never reliably predict how his wife will react to such a momentous admission.

Take a look at the video:

The moral of all this is that you have to make a personal decision when you choose to put your brain up against your wife's brain. Once you engage her brain on an issue as profound as your bisexuality, she will never disengage on that issue. The question is, do you want to spend the rest of your life with that issue constantly on her mind or do you want to keep it in the safe, sealed, secret box in your own brain.

Choose carefully. All you have depends on your making the correct choice.

Jack  Scott


  1. DL, I thought it was funny but very accurate. I showed it to my wife who is a Psychotherapist. She thought it was accurate also.

    Jack Scott

  2. That is a very funny video but it acutally is ...just the extremes. Each brain is different and there are women who think more like men and men who think more like women. There is even a test by the Pearse couple, where you can check your scale for it (btw. my brain is obviously male despite I'm a woman...maybe that's why my hubby and me are so good together :D)

    The video is as much refering to stereotypes as the assumptions that every gay man would be effeminate. Both is wrong.

    So drop your box-thinking ;) People are individuals and you just can't say something like this. As for your wife confirming it - I just think that she probably gets to work only with the extremes beccause those who are in the middle or in a more balanced state don't require the help of a psychotherapist ;)

  3. There's a lot of truth in that video. The other day I asked my wife about one (1) item -- namely, would it be all right with her if a college student stayed with us for a month while in our area on an internship. All three of us are/were from the same school, but she has never met him. In response, I got a rant about approximately 15 different subjects. Only one of these related to the use of a bedroom in our house (of which we have five vacant ones) by the young man who is coming to our town. The rest were issues that she is frustrated about (many of them being things that she wants me to do, to do differently, to do faster, or to not do at all). I was clueless as to why she had to throw all these up against me in response to a single, simple question until I saw the video.

    There are things that I would like her to do, to do differently, to do faster, or to not do at all, but I figure that she is an adult and will only change those things when she wants to, not when I dictate a change. So we have that difference. One of main reasons we are still together is that this has happened many times before, but given a few days she usually gets past her Rant of the Month and reverts to a more normal and nice personality.

    I have never brought my bisexuality to her attention, because God knows that would bring on the Rant of all Rants. There would be no point in laying that burden on her, because I do exactly nothing about the part of me that likes men. Thus, no STDs could be brought home, there's no divided loyalty or need for concern about her competing with some guy for my affection. It's my private box and will remain such.

  4. I wonder about the need to keep the issue of bisexuality a secret? As a woman, who is married to a man who enjoys gay porn (and is potentially bisexual, he's in avoidance), I was devastated when I found out. Not that I have issue with his sexual fantasies, but that he had have been living this other life that I knew nothing about. I felt lied to, more importantly, I felt our life was a lie.

    I guess I feel that it is totally unfair to assume your partner won't accept you for who you are. If they don't (won't) why do you want to be with them? Seems so unfair to everyone involved.

    I don't question my husband's love for me, but I do question his love for other men. It's not that he may love other men that bothers's that he could love ANYONE besides me that bothers and saddens me.


I deeply regret that I must reinstate the verification process for those who want to leave comments on my blog. This is due to the intolerable amount of spam that spammers are attempting to leave on the blog.

At the same time I am changing settings so that those of you who have a Google Blogger ID or other recognized blogger ID will not have to have your comments moderated. My hope is this will encourage more readers to take the time to comment. The fact is I want to read comments with those of you who disagree with me as well as those of you who agree with me. All I ask is that you keep your comments clean and non-threatening.

The only reason I take the time to write this blog is to spur your thoughts and comments. Please do not let the spammers cause you not to comment. I know entering the verification words and numbers is a pain in the ass, but I hope you will not let the spammers cause you not to comment.

I still very much look forward to hearing from you.

Jack Scott

Anyone can comment on what I write in this blog. Regretfully, the recent amount of spam in my email account as required that I reinstate the word verification process for comments which I personally hate.

But at the same time I have loosened the comment moderation process so that those of you who have a Google Blogger ID or other recognized blogger ID will no longer need to wait for your comment to be moderated. I'm hoping this will tempt you to take the trouble to comment.

The truth is I want respectful comments both from those who agree with me and those who do not. All I as is that you keep comments to the point, clean and non-threatenting.

I look forward to hearing from each of you.

Jack Scott