Thursday, January 10, 2013

Frot and Frottage - A Second Look

Little did I know in August, 2011 that I was writing what was to become the most read blog post I've ever written. I started this blog in May, 2008; and "Frot and Frottage" was not posted until more than three years later. Yet, 14% of all the viewers who have ever viewed my blog have viewed "Frot and Frottage." The post continues to attract thousands of views every month. There has never been a month since it was posted that it has not been the most viewed post which indicates to me that there is a tremendous interest in the subject.

That being the case, I thought it might be time to take another look at the subject of Frot.


The word "frottage" is derived from the French word "frotter" which means to rub. Frot is the slang word for frottage which is more commonly used to describe the activity. Frottage is, for two men, the equivalent of the necking and petting most of us engaged in with our girlfriends as young kids. It includes everything short of penetration. Anything goes except anal, vaginal or oral sex. Aw, I remember it well. One good thing about Texas is there are plenty of country roads to park on.

My wife and I started dating at a very young age and we ended up marrying at a very young age. Yet, we both knew that we wanted more out of life than babies conceived out of wedlock. For much of our dating life, in the days just before oral birth control pills, our sex life was much like Frottage. There was nothing off limits except vaginal, anal and oral sex. Actually we found it to be quite satisfying although very messy. Since our privacy in those days consisted of the back seat of my car parked on some dark country road, getting cleaned up, straightened up and squared aways was often a considerable job that had to be completed before I could take her home. Her parents were night owls and they were aways up and wide awake when I brought her back home. Fortunately, we never ran into trouble. Well, there was that one time, but that's another story altogether .

Of course, as I have written elsewhere in this blog, as a bisexual guy, I was introduced to the world of Frot years before I started dating my wife. At the age of six years, a few older neighborhood kids inducted me into the world of Frot. We didn't know it by that name of course, but Frot was exactly what it was.

In the small country town where I was raised, with its four-room school, post office and general store, there was nothing to entertain us except each other. Boys will be boys and being thrown together 16 hours / 7 days a week there was little we didn't explore including each other. Mutual masturbation, touching and rubbing were the norm. The forbidden activities were anal and oral sex and kissing. Everything else was engaged in almost daily as a group activity. Even oral sex was engaged in one on one outside the group. My oral partner was a kid named Chris. We were somewhat drawn together because we had, by far, the biggest cocks in the group; and we loved to play with them.

Looking back on this activity (Frot), I see no down side to it at all. It was a win-win fact of life for all of us. It bonded us into strong friendships that were mutually beneficial. Everyone was equal and everyone was an accepted member of the group. There were no outcasts. Sex itself was not an outlier for us. It was just one of the parts of our lives. Like playing basketball, riding our horses, playing games in the evening twilight, it was just a normal part of our daily lives.

Looking back I see it as nothing other than absolute normality. And even more, from my viewpoint as a grown male, I still see that sort of thing as the biological norm for males. Admittedly, as I have written in other posts in this blog, I was confused for quite some time as I grew older and began to hear sex between guys described as queer or gay. I was even more confused when I began to develop a very intense appreciation for girls while retaining the appreciation for what the boys and I were doing.

At that time, all I ever heard about was straight guys and gay guys. Straight was good; gay was bad. I never even heard the term bisexual until well into my adulthood. Now, after a lifetime of my own experiences and almost three decades of very close encounters with other guys, I have a much better understanding of what it is all really about. And what I have found is that normal male sexual behavior covers a great deal of territory. I have also found that there are the biological norms of male sexual behavior and then there is the societal norms of male sexual behavior. The societal norms and the biological norms are not the same, and it is the discrepancy between biological and societal norms that cause many men (and women) a great deal of angst and pain over things that appeal to them which are biological norms but not societal norms.

My own adult experiences have taught me that a huge number of men who are capable of living straight lives and even maintaining very happy marriages are also attracted to other men as an expression of the biological norm.

In the original post, "Frot and Frottage," I pointed out that sex between males is as old as mankind itself. It is also found in many other mammalian species. The ancient Greeks and Romans lived lives in which male/male sex was not only the biological norm but also an accepted social norm. The greatest warriors the world has ever seen, the Spartans, were away from their wives for long periods of time and a male sexual partner was the norm. Their ferociousness in battle was perhaps heightened as lovers strove to protect their male lovers at all costs in battle. But open male/male sex was not just a norm for the ancient Greeks and Romans. It has been documented around the world from ancient to modern times. It played a part in the Japanese Samurai culture as well as in 19th century British and American cultures.

The Irish are credited with saving Western Civilization because of their work in copying manuscripts before the invention of the printing press and their safe guarding of world treasures during times of world conflict. No less a figure than St Patrick himself is said to have had little interest in the sexual affairs of the Irish and to have offered no condemnation of Irish sexual practices though they were quite bawdy by modern standards and included all manner of bisexual activities.

Homosexual relationships between Irish warriors on campaigns were the order of the day just as they had been for the Spartans. St. Patrick did put a lot of emphasis on pacifying the Irish tradition of almost constant fighting, and he had a measure of success in that area; but this change in traditions did little to change the sexual mores of the men.

Patrick founded monasteries all over Ireland. Even these monasteries were not noted for the chastity of the monks. Male/male sexual activities were the norm.

Among the more outlandish sexual acts that were a part of Irish culture in St. Patricks day took place during the coronation of the kings of Clan Conaill.  For centuries kings were inaugurated in the high style of their ancestors - by public copulation with a white mare. This continued  to the end of the twelfth century.

In Irish myth, one of the greatest warrior relationships was between Cuchulainn and Ferdia. Through the trickery of an enemy, the warriors are forced to fight each other in spite of their unending love for one another. The following poem speaks of their love and the aftermath of the fight.

Cuchulainn to Ferdia:
Fast friends, forest-companions,
we made one bed and slept one sleep
in foreign lands after the fray.
Scathach's pupils, two together
we'd set forth to comb the forest.
There is no man that ever ate,
no man that was ever born, 
no joyous son of king or queen,
for whose sake I would do you harm.
After he has killed Ferdia, Cuchulainn addresses the Ferdia's body:
When we were away with Scathach
learning victory overseas,
it seemed our friendship would remain
unbroken till the day of doom. 
I loved the nobel way you blushed,
and loved your fine, perfect form.
I loved your blue clear eyes,
your way of speech, your skillfulness,
your curled yellow hair
like a great lovely jewel,
the soft leaf-shaped belt
that you wore at your waist.
You have fallen to the Hound.
I cry for it, little calf.
The shield didn't save you
that brought you to the fray.
The love that one man had for another was not hidden from Irish women, neither were they jealous. In fact neither were they jealous of their husbands occasional dalliances with other women.

By 1773, Ireland was occupied by the British and had enacted the anti-Catholic Penal Laws. One of these grossly unjust laws forbade any Irish Catholic man from owning a horse worth more than five pounds. One night in 1773 an Englishman offered Art O'Leary five pounds for his splendid mare. O'Leary refused and the Englishman shot him dead. His wife wrote this lament for her slain husband:
My love and my delight,
The day I saw your first
Beside the markethouse
I had eyes for nothing else
And love for none but you.
You gave me everything,
There were parlours whitened for me
Bedrooms painted for me
Ovens reddened for me,
Loves baked for me,
Joints spitted for me,
Beds made for me
To take my ease on flock
Until the milking time
And later if I pleased
My love and my fortune
'Tis an evil portion
To lay for a giant--
A shroud and a coffin--
For a big-hearted hero
Who fished in the hill-streams
And drank in the bright halls
With white-breasted women.
My rider of the bright eyes,
What happened to you yesterday?
I thought you in my heart,
When I bought you  your fine clothes,
A man the world could not slay.
Kilcrea Abbey, County York
Art O'Leary is buried in the ruined nave of Kilcrea Abbey in County Cork. The words, carved in modern English on his tomb include three adjectives which have summed up the Irish moral code that has survived in Ireland since the Iron Age:

Lo Arthur Leary
Generous Handsome Brave
Slain In His Bloom
Lies In This Humble Grave 

Art O'Leary, only in his twenties, was known to frequently enjoy the attention of white-breated women in the pubs. His wife, who evidently loved and adored him beyond measure, clearly knew of this proclivity of his, yet she made no mention of jealousy or of feeling that he was unfaithful. In Irish culture, through much of its history, faithfulness was a virtue reserved for same sex relationships between men. Irish women were usually satisfied that their husbands came home to them and provided for their needs.

An Irish friend tells me that even in modern times, Irish sexuality maintains much of its free nature. Many married men feel more than free to enjoy the charms of women other than their wives. As to the same sex relationships between married males in modern times, he could not speak since such friendships are no longer publicly acknowledged. However, my friend is an openly gay man. He recently took a partner in a public Irish ceremony. As his guest, I went to the local pub with him and his partner to be the night before the ceremony.

The reaction of the men in the pub and their wives in the small town in which he lives was the same as it would have been for any other wedding in a small town. Friends wished the couple well and showered them with gifts and expressions of joy. There seems to be very little of the resistance to  same sex marriage in Ireland that we see in the United States.

Ireland is a traditionally Catholic country and Catholicism is still practiced; but the Irish are extraordinary realists. Their attitude is that the Church lost its authority to lecture them about sexual matters when they failed to keep their own house in order resulting in the molestation of untold number of young boys by untold number of priests.

As they are in most things, the Irish pretty laid back about sex.  I suspect with their attitudes about sex, Frot is still likely practiced by more than a few men in Ireland, just as it is in many other countries.

In recent times, a stereotype has developed about homosexual men. That stereotype is that homosexuality is defined by anal intercourse between gay men. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Actually anal intercourse between gay lovers is a very new development which only took hold in the 20th century. In ancient times, anal intercourse was only inflicted on ones enemy as the ultimate insult and the ultimate show of power. It was not something one would engage in with someone he loved. Most male/male sexual relationships through the ages have not included anal intercourse. Even today there are many homosexual relationships that do not include anal intercourse. I personally know of one such relationship among my personal gay friends. For such gay couples, Frot is the norm though many have come to accept oral play as an activity to be included within the definition of Frot.

I have come to believe that the desire for a bonded relationship including Frottage is the biological norm for men. In talking to men, I have also come to believe that many basically heterosexual men often label themselves as homosexuals because of these desires when, in fact, they are normal heterosexual males.

If this misidentification is happening, and I think it is, it is a real tragedy for the men who fall victim to it. I have always maintained that to truly find happiness, it is vital for a man to discover who and what he is. A homosexual man will never find happiness trying to live as a straight man or as a bisexual man. A bisexual man will never find true happiness if he misidentifies himself as gay. Neither will a straight man find happiness if he has mistakenly self identified as gay because of this desire for Frottage. These days far too many men say the "hate" labels. I understand where they are coming from, but over reaction to the modern need to classify and label everything can be disastrous. Certainly, no man should allow society to label him or his needs and actions; but the man who does not correctly label himself in his own mind is doomed to a less than happy and fulfilling life. Self-identification and self-acceptance of what that identification means is absolutely vital to a well ordered and happy life.

Frottage and those who practice it or would like to practice it is an area which deserves to be thoroughly studied. If I am right and it is a biological norm for men, modern men are being disastrously shortchanged by supposedly modern culture mores that conflict with biological norms. The overwhelming interest I have observed in Frot and Frottage certainly suggests that the subject is one that interests a huge number of men.

Next we'll take a look at a few men I know personally who have mistaken Frot like desires as homosexuality.

Jack Scott

* The references to Irish sexual history, though not necessarily the conclusions I have drawn, are from the book, How The Irish Saved Civilization, by Thomas Cahill, Anchor Books, New York, 1995. Click the link if you are interested in more information about the book.







17 comments:

  1. Ahh, the Irish do know how to live and love truly. That Celtic heritage is quite open and shameless as a culture. It answers many questions that has plagued me over the years as to why I have often admired other men, even before I discovered and identified as a Bisexual male. It would be interesting to explore the other part of my ancestry, which is German. How often societal norms can create havoc with human nature and lead us down paths that create such guilt in us.

    Really enjoyed reading this post, Jack. Hope you are doing okay. Good Irish prayersare being sent your way. Dave in Eastern Washington

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comment DL. I appreciate it greatly.

      As you suggest, I also have wondered if my Irish heritage has something to do with my lifelong experimentation with bisexuality. Even before I knew what bisexuality was, I was functioning in that manner. Interestingly enough, my heritage is a mixture of Irish and American Indian. The indians were known to be tolerant of some same sex behavior too.

      My ancestors left Ireland more than 200 years ago and most likely settled in what is now Georgia. Recently my wife, who is also of Irish heritage, and I traveled to Ireland. As far as I know I was the first of my family to set foot on Irish soil for more than 200 years.

      I have had the good fortune to travel more than half way around the world. I enjoy traveling a great deal, but I can honestly say the trip to Ireland was one of the most special trips I have ever taken. I don't know if it was a mental thing or a spiritual thing or both, but I felt something in Ireland I had never before experienced on any other trip. It is difficult to describe, but I felt as if I were coming home. There was a peace about it all. We had the good fortune to interact closely with the Irish people in their homes and in their pubs. They were friendly and laid back. The pace of life there is much different that it is in urban America and I enjoyed it greatly.

      I did not know until recently that Ireland is different from most western countries in that for hundreds of years after it was settled by westerners there were no cities and no population centers. The country was made up of isolated farms. There were hundreds of minor kings who ruled over several farms. The boundaries of their small kingdoms were defined by mountains and hills and other natural landmarks.

      It occurred to me that the men in these small kingdoms might have been much like me and my buddies who lived an isolated life in a small rural Texas village defined by a school house, a post office, a general store and a church. Like us, these men were together all the time. They worked together, banded together for protection and played together. I can see where such constant togetherness would lead to sexual exploration for them just like ti did for us.

      Jack Scott

      Delete
    2. Same sex intimacy among Celtic men was reported 2000+ years ago. As the western most bastion of the Celts, Ireland seems to be a natural repository of that great tradition.

      Delete
    3. A perhaps less glorified realm of sex between men occurs among hobos (alas, a dying breed). I recently was reading up on hobos, tracking down stories about Jack London having had m2m sex when he was drifting.

      Hobo society was devoid of women, unless a guy had a little money to find a cheap whore in town. Sex with other men and boys was well accepted-- It did not result in shunning, and was often practiced fairly openly, and the hobo slang for M2M sex is rich.

      There are common of stories of hobos luring boys into their camps, and in fact there were hobos who traveled with a boy who took care of their needs, including going in to town to beg for them.

      However, I think by far the more common practice was sex between the hobos themselves. We lived near a hobo camp, and my mom would give them food when they rang our doorbell, and sometimes talk with them about their lives. I wish I'd known that my teenage urges could have been indulged just a few hundred yards away!

      Delete
  2. This is a beautiful post. As a woman who finds bisexual men most appealing, I entirely agree with your opinion that frottage and other same-sex behavior is natural biological behavior for men. Irish/Celtic culture may be unusual in the fact that men's natural bisexual desires survived into the modern era of oppressive social norms, but the desire is surely universal, common to all cultures, and in many animal species, not just mammals.
    My only quibble, and it's personal, is that I could never accept my husband or male partner's sexual activity with another woman, but would welcome his relationship with a man as an expression of his masculinity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ann for your comment. I am so glad you enjoyed the post.

      The fact is, if same sex activity is the biological norm for men, understanding and accepting that must also be a biological norm for women so I can see how you might find your husband's sexual relationship with another man exciting and an expression of his masculinity.

      Testosterone is truly a wonderful thing. It literally drives men to sexual exploits. While there is no doubt that estrogen functions in somewhat the same way in women, it doesn't seem to me that estrogen is near the potency of testosterone. A man is actually defined by his testosterone level. I don't think even men actually understand how true this is. Unfortunately, I understand because my testosterone level use to be 1300. Since my cancer metastasized, my Doctors have lowered that level to near zero. The effects of this are devastating in ways a man who has to witnessed it personally cannot understand. I think testosterone evolved into such a strong force in the lives of human males because civilization depended on bonding men together for the common good, including common defense, just as it depended on bonding men and women together for procreation. An opened minded look back on history seems to confirm this.

      I'm not sure your quibble over the "other woman" is that unusual. Understanding my bisexuality was difficult for my wife though she did come to understand it. I'm pretty sure she would not have even made the effort to understand a relationship with another woman. However, that said, I have to add that one short relationship of that sort ended up being very very good for me. I found out that while it was exciting in a way, it didn't begin to match what I had at home. I was never tempted again.

      Thanks again for your letter. I am ALWAYS interested in what female readers of my blog are thinking.

      Jack Scott

      Delete
    2. Dear Jack:

      Thank you for your generous and informative reply. First: I am truly sorry to hear about your cancer and the devastating effect it has had on your life. I appreciate your honesty, and send you my hope for an improvement in your situation.

      As to my views, as a woman: I don't think I am typical (yet) of most women in my positive attitude to men's bisexuality. That is, many women are able to "accept" the idea of an anonymous man, a stranger, being bisexual--but not their partner. And I say "yet" because I hope, as our understanding of sexuality and sexual orientation continues to evolve, that more women will come to see what a beautiful thing it is that their man can feel this deepest human emotion--sexual and romantic love--for another man.

      I don't like to make bisexual men uncomfortable by expressing my own feelings too strongly. Yes, the idea of two hot guys, one of them my husband or partner, making love with each other, is a tremendous turn-on. But rather than something kinky, what an interesting idea, your comparison with men's natural, biological bisexual desires. Why shouldn't it also be a natural, biological pleasure for women to enjoy their man's dual sexuality?

      Thank you for giving me a new insight.

      And I do agree that testosterone is a defining factor in men's sexuality. (And of course women have testosterone too, although at lower levels than men).

      I grew up in New York City, about as different culturally from your rural Texas background. It makes me very happy to find that my views on male bisexuality are mirrored most closely by someone from what feels like another universe :)

      Would you be comfortable if I shared this original post on my Facebook author page or blog? I have published two novels that feature masculine, bisexual heroes, and my point of view is often misinterpreted. It would be wonderful to showcase your thoughts here, to say THIS is what I'm writing/talking about.

      But I know this is a very personal, sensitive issue for you, which is why I ask first. I will respect your answer, whatever it is. (If it helps, I have only 58 "likes" on my Facebook Author page, and my personal blog readership is about two on a heavy-traffic day--so the additional exposure would be minuscule.)

      Many thanks for writing, and wishing you a happy and healthy 2013.

      Ann

      Delete
    3. Ann, I would be honored for you to share my post on your Facebook page.

      As to the traffic on your page, keep at it. I never dreamed, when I started my blog that traffic would reach the volume it now enjoys. In the case of my blog, notice by another blogger with significant following made all the difference.

      Best wishes.

      Jack Scott

      Delete
  3. Hey Jack, Great Post!!!

    The parallels in our lives never cease to amaze me, despite your growing up in rural Texas and mine in rural Pennsylvania. It was a different world in the "50s. Our parents set very basic rules and let us go and explore our world. Boys and young men are missing out on that today. Everything is organized, everyone is wrapped in cotton wool.

    My earliest same sex activity was Frot (just about sixty years ago), and still is my principal same sex activity today. Graduated to oral with an ever changing but small group of suck buddies. Tried anal in my teens and twenties and wasn't enthralled by it and only one guy could handle me.

    Met and married the great love of my life in my thirties. Told her about my bisexuality before marriage ever came up.
    We still have a healthy sexual relationship but it is changing. Like Ann above, other women are off the table and she doesn't want to know about what happens with men. She knows most of my friends but not details of our relationships and doesn't want to know.

    Like you my Testosterone levels crashed almost to zero, and the docs cannot figure out why. In my case I've responded well to hormone replacement therapy. The only difference is that erections are not as firm although as long, but not as wide.

    Like you I am a committed follower of Christ, and searched for an accepting church when I realized the church I was born into did not welcome people like me. I am a licensed lay minister and my ministries include the homeless and dislocated and persons living with HID and Aids.

    Enough for now, you are in my thoughts and daily prayers.

    Gerry

    ReplyDelete
  4. I feel sad when I read this post. Sad for all the connectedness, enjoyment,and fun I missed out on spending my youth trying to "purge" myself of my desires for the males around me instead of celebrating them. Now in my 40's I am working on identifying my sexuality, and what it means for me and my family. Likely no frotting in my future.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous, thanks for your letter. I understand your feeling of sadness. In fact, it is because I understand it that I write this blog. I don't know how long I have. Of course none of us do, but with my cancer and drawing ever closer to the three score and ten, time is certainly on the short side.

      Looking back, I see nothing but the blessings of my life. I take pride and satisfaction that I had the courage to live my life on my own terms without riding roughshod over others.

      Almost everything I write is an attempt to get others to do the same. Even for those of us who are Christians, as far as we know for sure, this is the one and only life we'll ever live. We must live it fully. And my life has been proof to me that one can live his life fully and on his own terms while meeting his responsibilities to those he loves and to the other necessary obligations of his life.

      At 40-something you may only be at the half-way mark of your life. You certainly can't secure your own happiness by destroying the happiness of your family, but that in no way means there are not avenues for your to explore in a sane and safe manner.

      Best wishes.

      Jack Scott

      Delete
  5. I have just come across this blog and have spent a good deal of time on it in the last day or so. Like the other female commenter, I agree that frot seems entirely natural and a perfect celebration of masculinity.

    Years ago, when I first considered that my then-partner might be bisexual, I simply shoved the suspicion out of my mind and avoided thinking about him potentially sleeping with another man. We broke up eventually and I did a lot of growing up and a lot of soul-searching myself.

    Since then, I have had bisexual male lovers who were open to me about their orientation and I came to empathise with the difficulties they had in coming to terms with themselves, wondering whether and how to come out to others and trying to reconcile their sexuality with the way they had thought their lives would pan out. I understood how "simple" dreams of settling down and starting a family can become so much more complicated. My heart could have broken when someone I adored said to me, "So you accept me?" I realised it had been a journey for him to even accept himself.

    Thank you, Jack Scott, for this blog. Posts like this especially are great in presenting another point of view.

    As my approach to relationships has evolved into something less rigid and less conventional, I have become increasingly interested in understanding and appreciating what drives my partner sexually. I'd say learning about the frot philosophy has been a great further step in that direction.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed, I'm sure it had been a long and hard journey for him, as it has been for every bisexual man I've ever met.

      Acceptance is something most bisexual men never expect to find in the significant woman in their lives.

      I appreciate you comment.

      Jack Scott

      Delete
  6. This blog has many interesting insights on frottage. IMHO, cultures such as the ancient Greeks and Hebrews both respected frottage as an entirely ethical and beautiful act that were totally logical (for the Greeks) or spiritual (for the Hebrews) in their expression of love for a member of the same sex. In both cultures though, anal sex was viewed as outrageous behavior that had damaging consequences on their entire society.

    http://gayspirituality.typepad.com/blog/2005/10/gay_frot_a_seco.html

    "Is it possible to define real sex in a way that honors pluralism and holds that sex has intentionality and a design by nature? My own integral attempt is to start by defining a “base position” or “root metaphor”: sex is primarily about the giving and receiving of sexual energy from one person to another through the mingling of genitals;

    The first thing you may notice about this definition is it says sex is mainly about the exchange of sexual energy, not simply about procreation or pleasure. All people carry a sexual energy that can be described as yang (or other-directed), yin (or same-directed) or balanced. Sex is the mingling of erotic energy in a sort of wrestling match (yang and yang), erotic dance (yang and yin), or erotic striptease or autoerotic play (yin and yin).

    The second thing you may notice about this definition is it says sex is mainly about the mingling of genitals. This may come as a surprise to many in the gay community who have adopted the hetero standard that says sex has to be penetrative (that is, a cock penetrating a mouth or an asshole). Mouths and assholes aren’t genitals.

    As a sex act, genital mingling is a great candidate for elevating to the core of sex because it involves symbolism that is universal, harmonious, symmetrical, and profoundly respectful of masculinity and femininity. Certainly it can be successfully argued that cock and pussy or cock and cock go together symbolically more than, say, cock and hand or cock and mouth. There is a certain elegant beauty to defining sex as bringing together two genitals."






    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm a gay man in my 60's and most of my sexual activity is behind me. However, I do want to say that frottage -- specifically, grinding while kissing -- was always my favorite activity because it is so intimate. I learned to do anal because it is the "gay coitus". I did enjoy it at times, but the pain barrier kept me from doing it too often. However, I want to point out that there are men who don't feel much pain from anal sex, and who love the feel of it. It does, after all, massage the prostate gland, which is a sex gland. I worked as a masseur for a couple years, and there was one customer who was clearly straight, but he loved being penetrated, and that got him into gay sex (before he came to me, he was having his girlfriend put things in his ass). I also want to say that in my opinion the majority of men really are straight and don't want to participate in any kind of gay sex. They may have experimented as children; but as adults, they are no longer interested. For us who enjoy it, it seems very natural; but it isn't natural for most men. Of course, that may be due to the fact that we've had a homophobic society for the last 50 years, which has discouraged a lot of men from experimenting. When gay liberation hit the scene, it polarized society, and the natural playing around that men did suddenly seemed unnatural and queer -- but you've talked about that already. I guess the point I'm trying to make is this: It seems so natural to us, so we assume it is natural for everyone (I've been making that assumption all my life, but I think it's wrong). In my view, gay and/or bisexual men really are in the minority. On the other hand, perhaps I hold this opinion because I come from a family with seven male children, and all of them are totally straight except for me. It's also true that most men show only their "straight" fact to society, and perhaps I'm being fooled by that. By the way, I've got an article about male sexuality on my own blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I appreciate your comments.

      I can assure you that like yourself, I don't have it all figured out. About the time I think I do I find I don't.

      I have come to realize that none of us can help what we have to deal with in life. We all have our burdens and our blessings. What we can control is our attitude. Looking at life as a positive thing is half the battle. It is so easy to dwell on the negatives of life. But it is so rewarding to dwell on the positives.

      Thanks. I hope to hear more from you.

      Jack

      Delete
  8. I meant to say "straight face", not "straight fact".

    ReplyDelete

I deeply regret that I must reinstate the verification process for those who want to leave comments on my blog. This is due to the intolerable amount of spam that spammers are attempting to leave on the blog.

At the same time I am changing settings so that those of you who have a Google Blogger ID or other recognized blogger ID will not have to have your comments moderated. My hope is this will encourage more readers to take the time to comment. The fact is I want to read comments with those of you who disagree with me as well as those of you who agree with me. All I ask is that you keep your comments clean and non-threatening.

The only reason I take the time to write this blog is to spur your thoughts and comments. Please do not let the spammers cause you not to comment. I know entering the verification words and numbers is a pain in the ass, but I hope you will not let the spammers cause you not to comment.

I still very much look forward to hearing from you.

Jack Scott

Anyone can comment on what I write in this blog. Regretfully, the recent amount of spam in my email account as required that I reinstate the word verification process for comments which I personally hate.

But at the same time I have loosened the comment moderation process so that those of you who have a Google Blogger ID or other recognized blogger ID will no longer need to wait for your comment to be moderated. I'm hoping this will tempt you to take the trouble to comment.

The truth is I want respectful comments both from those who agree with me and those who do not. All I as is that you keep comments to the point, clean and non-threatenting.

I look forward to hearing from each of you.

Jack Scott