I deeply regret that I must reinstate the verification process for those who want to leave comments on my blog. This is due to the intolerable amount of spam that spammers are attempting to leave on the blog.
At the same time I am changing settings so that those of you who have a Google Blogger ID or other recognized blogger ID will not have to have your comments moderated. My hope is this will encourage more readers to take the time to comment. The fact is I want to read comments with those of you who disagree with me as well as those of you who agree with me. All I ask is that you keep your comments clean and non-threatening.
The only reason I take the time to write this blog is to spur your thoughts and comments. Please do not let the spammers cause you not to comment. I know entering the verification words and numbers is a pain in the ass, but I hope you will not let the spammers cause you not to comment.
I still very much look forward to hearing from you.
Jack Scott
I'm always so torn when it comes to posts like this. Although I've posted several comments at various places in response to these posts, no one ever bothers to respond. I'd love to hear what people think on this; WHERE IS THE BEST PLACE FOR GAYS TO LIVE? I also wonder Jack, if you would feel the same if you were not married, living with another man. Would you find that Texas loves and accepts you, the way you love it?
ReplyDeleteI'll start out by saying, "Please don't hold it against me that I'm from New Jersey…" But it's where I'm from, and it's where I've always lived. I was born here, and will probably die here, although with the cost of living here, I do wonder where I'll land as time goes on. It's why any of the southern states are being invaded by the northerners. They're all looking for a less expensive place to live, especially during their retirement years.
I don't fit the typical "Jersey" stereotype. I'll dare say that people who do, are not from New Jersey. THEY'RE FROM NEW YORK. There is no "JERSEY ACCENT". WHAT THEY'RE HEARING IS A NEW YORK ACCENT FROM SOME NEW TRANSPLANT FROM NY. The same holds true of the attitude. The pushy, loud, aggressive attitude that people expect from NJ is all NY or the northern NJ places that are influenced by NY. Don't misunderstand, I love cosmopolitan New Yorkers. They have a sense of fun and adventure that is unsurpassed; they have so much at their doorstep. But there is a true difference between them and natives of anywhere else. Or maybe it's just my slant on things, I'm not sure.
I like places I've visited outside of the state. But I have a true and definite phobia of being openly gay in any place within the bible belt. I've had enough bad experiences while visiting, that I'm certain my living there would not be an easy adjustment. I don't see myself as a true city dweller, which is where it seems most gay people thrive. I like the suburbs and all that comes along with that. I like small town America. But I get the sense that living as a gay couple in the southern suburbs just isn't well excepted.
There's nothing sexier than masculine, southern men. They have a way of being gentlemen that no one else seems to possess. Cowboys make me swoon, as well as any rugged "quiet type" guy. It's what I think of when you bring up men from Texas. But to find myself in an open, accepting town, somewhere away from the cities, somewhere in the south, seems to be a questionable prospect. I wonder what are other people's experience with this? As I've asked before, "Am I being phobic of the south?"
I'm just a quiet living person, looking for the right place to be, who happens to be gay. I'm not a joiner. I can't see myself joining a church or any groups that afford any type of label. I enjoy having friends, activity, and a sense of inclusion. I'm still not sure where that should be.
Aw, you knew I'd respond Bob. I thought for a couple of days before I posted either this post or the original one about Texas. I've had the privilege of traveling half way around the world and I've been in 40 of these United States.
DeleteThe world is a beautiful place and the United State of America has some of the most beautiful scenery in the world. You add in the rest of the Americas and the beauty that is exists here cannot be surpassed anywhere.
Believe it or not, with all that traveling, I'd never been in New York City until a few weeks ago. I have to say, I wasn't sure what I would think of it. Being from the South I had heard so much about New York and New Yorkers. I wasn't sure what to expect.
What I found was that I loved it. I'll be back to New York! Much to my surprise the people there spoke to us when we asked them questions. True, they were not as talkative as we southerners and they don't smile as much; but they were helpful when asked and we didn't run into a single rude person.
The only time we were even uncomfortable we got on an express train instead of a local and ended up way way up town. When we got off to turn around and go back down town to the museum we were trying to get to, we were alone in the station except for two guys and a woman. The two guys were obviously involved in drugs and they and the woman were in a battle royal. It was all verbal thank God, but they were going at it. Fortunately, she was holding her own. They were not getting anything over on her. We stood on the platform awaiting our train trying to be invisible and hoping the hassle did not spread to us since we were obviously not form around there. The train came and all was well.
All in all I can say that I've been just as concerned on the streets of Dallas late at night, so it was no knock against New York City and we really enjoyed our trip.
In answer to your direct question as to whether I'd love Texas as much if I were gay and living openly with a partner, the answer is an unequivocal YES! My best friend is such a gay man. He and his partner recently bought a new home here in Houston. The home is on a cul-de-sac with only 8 homes on it.
When they moved in all 7 neighboring families came over to greet them and welcome them to the neighborhood. Two families are black. One is a mixed race couple the wife black and the husband white. The other three families are black and my friends are white. All the neighbors are as friendly as can be. The young lady next door to them even told them she was so glad to have a gay couple move in. As they begun to revamp the place and the yard, the neighbors have simply been amazed at their progress.
It's true Houston is a cosmopolitan city. So, acceptance in the 4th largest city in the country is probably more likely than it might be in a small Texas Bible Belt town; but even church people in Texas are usually open to gay couples attending their services.
Texas will never be a place where gay marriage will be legal until such time as the Supreme Court of the Nation forces it on the state; but that doesn't mean that most Texans are not at least tolerant as most of the rest of the country concerning gays.
Like everywhere else in the country gay people are our fathers, sons, grandsons and nephews and their equivalent female family members.
As you mention, Texas is one of the most economical places in the country to live. We have reasonable property taxes, low business taxes and no income tax at all. So many people from the north are coming to Texas that we Texans are probably already outnumbered or soon will be.
But I think most people from the north are more than willing to slow down and relax and let themselves enjoy Texas.
If you get the chance, I urge you to come down and visit.
Jack Scott
Thanks for responding Jack, and more importantly I'm so glad you enjoyed your trip up here. NYC has a way of either making or breaking people for a come back visit. I wish I could get there on a regular basis, but it's probably been at least 4 years since I was there last. I'd really like to see the progress they've made on the new World Trade Center. The little vignette you witnessed at the train station does sound scary, and it's the type of thing I hate most. I hate getting roped into a situation which can so easily happen waiting at a train station. Drunks and weirdos are out there.
DeleteSometime this summer, my big adventure is going to Atlanta on a road trip, then to my brother's in North Carolina. Atlanta seems to be gay friendly with a number of gay bars and nightclubs, so I think we'll enjoy the nightlife there. During the day, I'm sure there's enough cultural things to do, but I need to do some research on that.
My brother lives in Earl, NC. A tiny sleepy town just 5 minutes from the SC boarder, about 1.5 hours south west of Charlotte. That will be an interesting trip. It's the place where I've been greeted with mixed responses whether I was married and with my wife, gay and with a friend, or alone. It's one of the place that makes me a bit leery, but we'll see this time what happens. No matter what happens, I'm looking forward to it.