When Earth's Last Picture is Painted

In my harried life, I have to admit, I don't take time to stop and read poetry very often. But throughout my life, poetry has always meant much to me. More often than not, poetry comes to me in the words of a song these days as I can find the time to listen to my iPod at the gym or while doing other tasks around the house. Music also fills the time while I'm driving; and since I prefer the oldies to the more modern "music," poetry; or at least the poetry I appreciate, is still a part of what I hear on the radio.

Back in December I posted "Desiderata" here on the blog and used it to point out how the author's words had particular meaning concerning the desires of many married bisexual and married homosexual men.

At the time I posted "Desiderata," another long forgotten poem began to creep from the fog of my mind and I have been trying to remember it ever since. Last week, Bob, who is a much appreciated and frequent commenter on my blog sent me  personal letter regarding the blog I posted entitled, "The Complicated, Contradictory World of Evangelicals." In his letter he quoted "Desiderata" and at first I thought he was quoting the poem I had been trying to remember. I even wrote him back thanking him for sending it to me because I planned to use it in an upcoming blog and had been unable to find it.

Later when I started to write the blog piece, I discovered my mistake. So many years had passed since I had read the poem I was looking for, I could not remember the author or a line. Only a word here and there and Google did not pick up on any of the words. Finally, this morning, the first line of the poem came to mind and Google did its thing and produced the poem for me: "When Earth's Last Picture is Painted," by Rudyard Kipling.

I'm certainly not a literary critic, but this poem is one of the most inspirational poems I have ever read. True, in the ravages of time and age I had forgotten the lines, but words, the rhythm, the meter and especially the message were still well remembered.

For those of you not use to reading or interpreting poetry, the only thing you need to know is the poem is not about painting. For the purposes of those of us who tend to read this blog, think of it as being about the loves of a bisexual man.

When Earth's Last Picture is Painted

by Rudyard Kipling

When Earth's last picture is painted

And the tubes are twisted and dried

When the oldest colors have faded

And the youngest critic has died

We shall rest, and faith, we shall need it

Lie down for an aeon or two
'Till the Master of all good workmen

Shall put us to work anew

And those that were good shall be happy

They'll sit in a golden chair

They'll splash at a ten league canvas

With brushes of comet's hair

They'll find real saints to draw from

Magdalene, Peter, and Paul

They'll work for an age at a sitting

And never be tired at all.

And only the Master shall praise us.

And only the Master shall blame.

And no one will work for the money.

No one will work for the fame.

But each for the joy of the working,

And each, in his separate star,

Will draw the thing as he sees it.

For the God of things as they are!

How did you do? Can you see any connection between Kipling's poem and married bisexual men? I don't know much about Kipling other than he was a famous 19th Century English poet who was accorded many honors, almost all of which he declined, including the honor of knighthood. I don't have the slightest idea if Kipling was bisexual. The term itself did not exist at the time although the sexual category did. The magic of Kipling's poem is that it is about all things which men desire to do unfettered by the restraints of time, obligation, opportunity, ability, public or private criticism, money or the lack of money, blame or fear.

Over the years, I have become absolutely convinced that my bisexuality, and thus yours, is a gift of God (of if you prefer a gift of destiny). Had anyone told me that 30 years ago, I might have punched him in the face; so if you have the same inclination, I understand. All I can tell you, what I once pleaded for God to take away, I now treasure. And if I can come to that turn in my thinking and in my life, so can you!

I have no idea what heaven will be like. As a sort of agnostic Christian, I still sometimes have doubts that heaven and/or God exist at all. But what I do know is this blog piece has been rumbling around in my mind for a few months and a personal letter to me this morning from a wonderful guy named Skip K finally inspired me to try to gather my thoughts and share them with you.

It is not easy to be a married homosexual man. Not by a long shot; but at least a homosexual man understands, more often than not, that he cannot love a woman as she was meant to be loved. He understands, more often than not, that he is made, in some way he may not understand, to be able only to share real love, real emotion and real devotion with another man.

Things are just a hair more complex for a married bisexual man and often he is tormented by a reality he does not understand in any way whatsoever; and often, because of his religious or moral training he cannot accept - the seeming fact that he loves his wife and loves, or needs to love, another man at the same time!

For most bisexual men, the realization that this could possibly happen is disconcerting enough; but when it actually does happen it often sends the strongest of men into an emotional and psychological tailspin that is almost impossible to recover from without experienced help in the form of some other bisexual man who has dealt with it successfully or from an experienced professional counselor who understands human sexuality from a clinical viewpoint.

"Desiderata" speaks of our desires, Kipling speaks of a time when our desires shall come to total and complete fruition unfettered by anything whatsoever!

As a Christian, even a sort of agnostic Christian, I know that if there is such a place as the Kingdom of God, it is not a far away land in another place and time. If the Kingdom of God exist, we are living presently in that kingdom just as those who are not believers at all are living in the currently existing universe. If that is so and if I am right that my bisexuality and your homosexuality, as well as another man's heterosexuality is a gift of God, then it follows that, in some way we cannot now understand, our sexuality, be it heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality has a part and a place in the eternal Kingdom of God which has always been, is now and shall ever be. Even the agnostic part of me still acknowledges something greater than myself at work in the universe. All we each are, even by scientific laws, is in some form eternal and has a part to play in the scheme of it all. My faith tells me that eternity will be more like Kipling foresaw it that it will be like the cold scientific eternity.

A portion of the last three lines of Kipling's poem sing loudest to me and set my mind to soaring to the highest extent of my faith and my intellect:

And each, ...

Will draw the thing as he sees it.

For the God of things as they are!

My sincerest wish is that you let your bisexuality sing as it was meant to sing.

Jack Scott